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October 03, 2004

Monkey Mail

Subject: ooh ooh aah aah ooga ooga ahh ahh

OH. MY. GOD. The monkey can type!

The monkey can debate, too, but there is nobody in all of cyberspace from the right side of the aisle who will dare get in the chat room with me because I have the truth on my side and I don't lay down when somebody says "Boo!"

Maybe you have what it takes to set me straight? Or, ...are you "too busy" to take your Size 11 boot suppository?

I'm getting tired of these daily false alarms by pussified Republicans. Let's get in the ring - my boot is hungry for some Monkey ass.

Can't stand the thought that Kerry is going down in a matter of weeks, can you?

You're right - I can't stand the thought of that. Who knows? Maybe he'll show signs of life in the debate...
(I hope Bob Shrum doesn't tell Kerry to be shy and polite)

If you prefer a country with only one party why don't you move to China? I'll bet you would love it over there.

What would be the difference?
America only has one party, so how would moving to China help?

We also have a state-controlled press, like China.
We jail suspects without a reason or access to a lawyer, like China.
We torture and execute suspects in secrecy, just like China

One real difference is that China hasn't invaded anyone lately.
Another difference is the whole world doesn't hate and fear China.

You are so pathetic.

Andrew McNeil

Andrew, if you have the cojones to set me straight, I'm ready.

Posted by marc at 01:26 AM | TrackBack

VCR Alert

Bill Maher is tonight, and he'll have plenty tosay about the debate. One guest is George Carlin, and George Carlin on HBO is dangerous!

The 30th season on SNL begins with my good friend Ben Affleck.
Sorry about last week's false alarm - the NBC bastards did that on purpose. Look for the political comedy to be front and center.

Who will be Tina's new co-host for the news?

They say Desperate Housewives (premiers Sunday on ABC) is a great, great show. Robert Bianco (we can trust him) says, "Refreshingly original, bracingly adult and thoroughly delightful, Desperate Housewives is the like answer to a TV prayer you didn't know you'd made. As involving as any new drama and funnier than any new sitcom, Housewives matches high visual style with witty sensibility. Well-observed tiny details share space with bigger-than-life set pieces."

Having Teri Hatcher and Nicole Sheridan in the cast can't hurt. I hope the first review for BartCop TV is as good.

Right after that is another one, Boston Legal, starring Emmy winners William Shatner and James Spader. Shatner could win a comedy Emmy every year he's on this show.

I want to see the new season of Tru Calling, but first my Cardinals have to kick Yankee ass.

Posted by marc at 12:51 AM | TrackBack

October 02, 2004

Bartcop News of the Day

3Polls Show Kerry Won Debate Over Bush
Against all odds, brains won out over lifeless lies and rhetoric
Click Here

Did the White House write Allawi's speech?
Anyone who thinks they didn't must be on Bush's payroll
Click Here

Barnes, Hume, and Limbaugh agree on a lie
"Bush said there was no imminent threat"
Click Here

Kerry draws blood in first debate
Kerry left Bush scowling and at a loss for words.
Click Here

Have police found Lori hacking's remains?
There's an extra special Hell waiting for this bastard
Click Here

Posted by marc at 11:50 PM | TrackBack

The Bush-Kerry Debate

The chat party worked out real well.
They (the people who know these things) said we had a peak of 141 people.

I'd say about 60 people were typing comments, but more were lurking, watching TV, co-surfing and enjoying coolants of various types and legalities.

I hoped ( and still hope for) to make available some kind of transcript, but imagine 60 people typing two messages a minute (each) for 2 hours.

Complete transcripts exist, but an edited-down version would be better.

In boxing, when the underdog kicks the incumbent, a second fight is set up right away.

We won't have to wait long.
A week from tonight is the Monkey's next ass kicking.

Posted by bartcop at 11:31 PM | TrackBack

Mr. Tall vs. Mr. Small

Greg Palast has a take on the debate

Our President told the debate audience, "You cannot lead if you send mexxed missiges." I certainly hope not. But that's exactly what we got. You watch our President, the nervous hand-hiding, the compulsive water-glass-fondling, the panicked I-wish-I-had-a-whiskey look, and you think, "My god, this is the guy who's supposed to save us from al Qaeda?"

And how are we going to win the War on Terror, Mr. President? "First of all, of course I know Osama bin Laden attacked us. I know that," he said.

Well, that's a start, I suppose.
But it doesn't have to stay this way.

Posted by marc at 10:45 PM | TrackBack

The 60's Project

September 29-30, 1944

Soviet forces land on Muhu Island as German forces withdraw from the nearby island of Saaremaa. Canadian forces give the Germans a 24-hour truce to allow civilians to be evacuated from Calais. The German garrison at Calais surrenders. Canadian attacks continue north and west of Antwerp. To the south, German forces launch localized attacks against the US 3rd Army. The last cross-channel gun was silenced, ending nearly four years of harassment of the area around Dover.

Posted by marc at 09:58 PM | TrackBack

Bush vs. His Temper

The Monkey can dish it out, but he can't take it

Click Here

Bush has thrown Kerry's words back on him during nearly every speech but he rocked back in irritation last night when Kerry did the same thing to him.

Bush's aides knew that his temper was a potential vulnerability, and his debate coaching sessions included practice in not getting rattled. But the camera shutters started snapping as the president shot a look into crowd when Kerry seized on Bush's refrain that "the enemy hit us" and to point out that was not Saddam Hussein.

"They" said a Bush victory would end the race, and Bush came out swinging. Trouble is, he should've sized up his opponent before he swung wildly and missed. Kerry caught him with several uppercuts, crashing him to the canvas.

They told Bush a quick knockout would give him four more years, but Kerry was calm and resolute while the spoiled little Bush Monkey was shocked to discover that the judges weren't going to give him this one like they have done all of his gold-plated life.

Posted by marc at 09:52 PM | TrackBack